Silly Sunday: Why did the chicken cross the road?

> Why did the chicken cross the road?
>

> BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was
> time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

> JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
> because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
> dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the
> road.

> HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped
> that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes
> me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One!
> That every chicken in this country gets the chance it
> deserves to cross the road.
> But then, this really isn't about me.

> GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
> crossed the road.
> We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
> road, or not.
> The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no
> middle ground here.

> DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

> COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
> clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the
> road.

> BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
> What is your definition of chicken?

> AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

> JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
> road, I am now against it!
> It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
> chicken's intentions.
> I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

> AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some
> black chickens.

> DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
> won't realize that he must first deal with the problem
> on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on
> the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him
> realize how stupid he's actin g by not taking on his
> current problems before adding new problems.

> OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
> problems,
> which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
> So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
> and take falls,
> which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken
> a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live
> his life like the rest of the chickens.

> ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a
> chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
> the other side of the road.

> NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's
> guilty!
> You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

> PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
> American.

> MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that
> chicken was going.
> I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell
> my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
>No little bird gave me any insider information.

> DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road?
> Did he cross it with a toad?
> Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed
> I've not been told.

> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

> JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay!
> Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why
> they call it the other side.
> Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
> And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too.
> I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
> abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
> seemingly harmless phrases like the other side..
> That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
> plain and as simple as that.

> GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken
> crossed the road.
> Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was
> good enough.

> BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting?
> In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell,
> for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
> experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
> accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

> ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

> JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
> roads together, in peace.

> BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will
> not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
> documents, and balance your checkbook.
> Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008.
> This new platform is much more stable and will never crash
> or need to be rebooted.

> ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road,
> or did the road move beneath the chicken?

> COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?