Yes it is Christmas time again, the time I loathe. It would make it tradition by locking myself far away in a place where no one can find me, BUT it is also time for my birthday. I guess that is cause enough for celebration.
I know you are saying, “Well if you hate Christmas, then why are you writing about it?” See, I have this small child who doesn’t share my disgust with the holiday yet. I’m not really writing about Christmas per say, but the idea of some of the traditions our culture practices. I have been struggling the last few week about the idea of Santa Claus. I can’t stand the idea of leading my child on to believe in something so fake and stupid.
From the moment I was able to understand that there was a fat man that made his way down my chimney every Christmas Eve, ate my cookies, left me presents, and then flew away on his shinny nosed reindeer I didn’t believe it was true. Yet, my parents kept insisting that there was this idiot of a man that would waste all his time and money on stupid little kids only behaving during this time of the year to insure they got their name put on the nice list instead of the naughty. Needless to say, when I found out he didn’t exist, my heart shattered. I locked myself in a little lie saying “oh, Santa is the Christmas spirit.” Well its rubbish. People don’t know the concept of Christmas spirit anymore. I was almost run over in the Target parking lot a few days ago, walking with Alec in my arms in the rain. The guy honked at me and flipped me off. I spit on his window and told him that he was a moron, and if he dare hit me or my child with his car, I would kill him. Yeah…that’s real Christmassy.
OK, I digressed. My dilemma is how I am going to NOT tell my son that Santa exists. Oh, you heard right. I am not going to perpetuate that lie. I want a foundation of nothing but utter trust and honesty with my son. It has to start with me, and there will be no fantasy creatures running around my house. We already have a ghost to deal with, and that’s enough. Everyone tells him, “oh you are a good boy; Santa will be proud, bla bla bla…” I can’t stand it. I know that his dad wants him to believe, but I just can’t do it.
My dad claims that he never led me to believe, but he never made me think anything otherwise. This is why I am standing by the fact that I need to tell him. I don’t think that this year is the year to worry too much about it. He is more fascinated with the pretty lights and tree than anything. My mom seems to think that I’ll ruin his childhood innocence. I just say
I won’t get into my Santa issues and theories, but if you would like to hear them sometime let me know. I have a slew of them at hand. I just can’t stand people living in this fantasy world anymore. It’s time they wake up and realize what the hell they really are celebrating in the first place.
Happy Holidays to all.
2 comments:
Hi my sweet little daughter,
I think you should watch the Christmas videos of your misled childhood from the time you were an infant to high school and I think this will help you in your dilemma on how to tell my grandson. I would love you to watch them in third person instead of from you being the child kind of perspective. My favorite one is when you were two or three and ran into the furniture. Sometimes we need to take a step backwards a bit in order to see the forest. Those big old trees will get in the way if we let them :)
Dad
It's kind of hard to watch something in third person if you are actually one of the participants in the film. Which, I should go on the record saying, I watched all those films when you put them on DVD for me a few years ago. I thought they were precious and sweet. I don't see how it will help me in telling my son that Santa is fictional and all the men running around in Santa suits are freuds. I see you are trying to widden my eyes with your wisdom, but I feel you are patronizing me. Ah, maybe it's just the internet.
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